Australia’s Century-Long Tradition of Improving Things That Didn’t Need Improving
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Australia’s defence procurement philosophy can be summarised in six words: “Yes, but have you considered modifications?”
This proud tradition, it turns out, did not begin with the $1 billion Seasprite helicopter that couldn’t fly in bad weather, or the MRH-90 Taipan that was retired early and partially buried in the desert, or the M113 armoured personnel carrier that was upgraded so thoroughly it ended up unfit for combat. No, it stretches back at least to February 1915, when a New Zealand inventor named Captain J.F. Roberts demonstrated his travelling field kitchen at Broadmeadows Camp near Melbourne.
The Roberts cooker was a masterpiece of practical engineering. It had been exhaustively trialled in New Zealand, adopted as the sole field kitchen by the New Zealand Defence Department, and could feed 600 men from a unit designed for 250. Officers at Broadmeadows were full of praise. Captain Roberts was understandably pleased.
Then the Australian Defence Department got their hands on it.
Rather than use the proven two-vehicle limber-and-cooker arrangement, they mounted everything on a single lorry — facing the wrong way round, with the furnace doors at the front instead of the back, the oven doors blocked by the brake mechanism, the springs removed, the cook’s workspace reduced, and the elegant one-man turning system eliminated. Captain Roberts, with the restrained diplomacy of a man watching his life’s work being reassembled by a committee, observed politely that the Department had “not given his cooker a fair chance.”
Before our Australian neighbours bear the full weight of this gentle mockery, however, honesty compels several admissions.
To be fair, and fairness demands we acknowledge this, Australia has an enormous and capable military, and plenty of procurement decisions have worked out perfectly well. The F/A-18 Hornet and Super Hornet purchases were sound and delivered on time. The C-17 Globemaster heavy airlift fleet was delivered on schedule and within budget — a fact so remarkable it was specifically noted in defence reviews as an exception worth celebrating. The MH-60R Seahawk, acquired off-the-shelf from the United States, has been a straightforward success with the Royal Australian Navy. The M1A1 Abrams purchase gave the Australian Army a world-class main battle tank with minimal fuss. The P-8A Poseidon maritime patrol aircraft has been broadly regarded as a capable and appropriate choice. When Australia buys things sensibly and resists the urge to improve them into dysfunction, it does so very well indeed.
The failures, however, share a depressingly consistent profile. The Seasprite was a sound helicopter, but the decision to add an entirely new, untested, and uniquely Australian avionics suite was a mistake. New Zealand bought essentially the same aircraft without the bespoke modifications, and it worked fine, to the point where New Zealand later bought the helicopters Australia had abandoned and operated them successfully. The Collins-class submarine took a capable Swedish design, substantially enlarged it, mandated local construction through a newly created industry with no submarine-building experience, and integrated an American combat system never previously used in a submarine, producing boats that were, for years, described as “noisy as a rock concert” and that sometimes had five out of six vessels simultaneously out of service. The MRH-90 Taipan added local construction requirements and Australian-specific modifications to a European helicopter that was already challenging to support, ultimately producing a fleet so expensive to maintain and so unreliable in service that it was retired early and replaced by a modern version of the very Black Hawk it had been bought to supersede.
The pattern is not that Australia can’t buy equipment. It’s that Australia can’t resist improving equipment that already works — adding bespoke avionics, local-industry content requirements, novel combat systems, unique carriage arrangements, and Australian-specific modifications until the thing costs twice as much, arrives a decade late, and occasionally can’t open its oven doors while moving.
The impulse to tinker is not, however, uniquely Australian. It is arguably a standard feature of any peacetime military, where budgets exist, time is available, and there is no urgent operational reality to impose discipline on the requirements process. When armies are not actively fighting, the temptation to refine, improve, and customise is almost irresistible, and the consequences of over-engineering remain comfortably theoretical rather than immediately fatal.
Closer to home, New Zealand is not immune to the siren call of “Yes, but have you considered modifications?” We have had our own moments of requirements-creep, our own projects that drifted from elegant simplicity toward expensive complexity, and our own defence procurement decisions that looked better on paper than in practice. Those who live in glass houses, and so forth.
Which brings us back to Captain Roberts and why his story is something more than an amusing footnote. In February 1915, the modification of his field kitchen was an inconvenience. A well-designed piece of equipment was made awkward and less effective, but meals were still cooked, and soldiers were still fed. The cost of the institutional habit of improvement for its own sake was modest.
In an era of sharply rising strategic uncertainty, where the comfortable assumption that procurement timelines can stretch across decades is being stripped away with some speed, the Roberts cooker story carries a more pointed message. Programmes that might once have been refined over ten years of peacetime tinkering may now need to deliver capability in three or four years. Equipment that works adequately off the shelf may be considerably more valuable than equipment that works brilliantly in theory but spends years being modified to meet requirements that keep changing.
The lesson Captain Roberts could not quite bring himself to state directly in front of the assembled officers at Broadmeadows in 1915, that a good thing rendered complicated by committee is no longer a good thing, may be among the more important pieces of advice available to defence procurement officials in Wellington, Canberra, and well beyond, right now.
Some lessons from 1915 are worth taking seriously today. This might be one of them.
